Have you ever been interested in or dating someone, and you really liked the way that they treated your family? Or you could have not liked certain things they did, like smoking or cussing, or just forgetting to text you back for long periods of time. All of these qualities, whether you like or dislike them, you will remember. If you have dated several different people, then you will be looking for certain qualities in the next person you are interested in. Even if you are someone who has never dated or has dated a lot, this idea can be beneficial for anyone who is dating to marry. All you really need is paper and a pen, or even write it down in your notes app. Wherever you write it, it needs to be easily accessible so you can go back and look at it in case you need reminding or find someone you are really interested in. When you’re starting your list, it may feel like you don’t know what to include, so start with the easy stuff. Some ideas that come from my own personal list are:
-love the Lord with all of his heart, mind, and soul/ God should be his #1 priority
-pretty eyes
-nice smile
-tall
-loves my family
-has humility and will admit when he is wrong
-wants kids
-will fight for us
-talk about their feelings with me/good communication
-good sense of humor
-respectable
-someone who will pursue me
-a best friend
-easy to talk to
-loves hugs
-protective and strong
-will plan dates
-their goal is to date with marriage as the end goal
Now, obviously, some of these are very specific to me, but they will give you an idea of what you may want to put on your own husband list. Another piece of advice is not to create the list with a specific person in mind. It is okay to include a specific quality you liked from a certain person, but do not make the list specifically about one person. The whole point of this list is to help you discern whether or not you should date someone. Now if they do not have one of the qualities on the list such as like “a cowboy” that one would be okay to overlook but if they don’t have a big quality like “love the Lord above all else” then maybe that guy is not the one for you, and it would be best to just move on. It is also okay to add to the list. After my first boyfriend, I updated my list because I realized that there were some qualities that I would really like in my future husband that my first boyfriend did not exhibit enough of, so now those qualities will be considered a necessity for the next one. Now we are human, and all fall short of the glory of God, so the man you’re dating will not always be perfect and will not always be able to be held to the perfect standard of your list all the time. But God does take into consideration what we want, and He has the perfect man out there for you. You just need to be patient, prayerful, and discerning, but overall, have trust that God has the best man and plan for our lives, and one day He will bring you a man who is even better than all the qualities you have on your list. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)